Hey there everyone,
The last month or so has been really hard on me. I feel like everything is crumbling. I am just so incredibly frustrated. I feel like I cant do anything right for this family. I try my hardest and yet, it never seems to please them. Ive been feeling this way for the last month and a half or so. But this week, it just seems impossible to make them happy. Here's a few examples of what I deal with. Every day, I get criticized for little things not being perfect and snapped at all the time. I swear, I jump every time Flo comes into the room because I dont know whether she's going to yell at me for something. his is my first au pair experience and for them, as well. So, naturally there will be some adjustments. I know that Im doing a good job but, I feel they have unrealistic expectations. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. And this last month, unfortunately, Ive made a lot of them. I lost my credit card and had to have it canceled and a new one sent to me. I had a lil fender bender in a parking garage and scraped Matt's car pretty badly. I was absolutely a mess over the car and now have to pay for half of the repairs. I've never been in an accident before and of course, it had to happen here!
Matt, Flo and I have had two discussions about everything. The first talk they explained all theses things that they wanted me to work on and improve on. (All things that werent that big of a deal) So Ive been trying my best to do everything theyve asked. Then, just last night, we sat down and talked and this time, I told them how I was feeling. Not being appreciated, not feeling taken care of, and generally working in a hostile, non-family like environment. It didnt go very well. They were very defensive and by the end, had turned the whole thing back on me and told me what I was doing wrong, instead of apologizing and saying that they were sorry that I felt that way. Generally, I just feel that they dont care about me. I am just not feeling very happy here. I have a lot of thinking to do about whether or not I want to stay here. I will keep you all posted, of course, as soon as any decisions are made. So stayed tuned everyone!
Oh Natalie!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry things are rough for you right now. Remember that different cultures bring out different expectations, communication, work, etc. It is all different! It can be difficult to work with foreigners but it is only because we don't know what they expect or mean when they say something.
What kinds of thing are they asking you to do? Maybe the rest of us can help you make a plan on what to do and how to please them.
If you stick it out you will fell so good. You'll know how to work through issues and problems. It may be a struggle at first, but then you may end up having the time of your life if you just can get through this hurdle. I hope you are OK.
Lots of love
Hey Natalie, I'm getting caught up on my Google Reader, and I was excited to see you posted three times since I last had a chance to read. Even though this is not timely, I wanted to write still. I'm sorry that you're feeling unappreciated. Sometimes employers don't know how much a kind word can lift the spirits of their employees. I definitely think the different culture is playing a part in it, too. The French have a reputation for being snobs. I would be surprised if they thought of you on equal terms with them. I hope things have been resolved or at least getting better for you and that the next post I read will be a happy one. If not, I just want you to remember that it is through trials that we uncover our divine natures. Remember who you are and try to determine what your Heavenly Father would want you to learn from these experiences. Also, you are loved just as you are by many, many people. Take care, mon petit chou.
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